How Odd
by birobird93
Summary: ONE-SHOT Charlie is growing confused with life and love. What will it do to his brain when he meets his daughter, Bella's English teacher? Spin-off from indecent affairs, except in THAT fic, he wasn't bi-sexual SLASH FIC C


**Okay, FearGirl. You better like this.**

**Oh, and a warning: This story contains sexual content. It involves gay fantasies, so if that offends you, don't ya'll be readin it. It also involves sodomy. So...yeahh...**

**Just another reminder--THIS ISN'T MY FANTASY!**

ONESHOT

"Uh, Dad?" Bella called from the kitchen.

I could smell the workings of enchiladas. Mmm. It had been such a long day at work, I always—ALWAYS, looked forward to Bells' cooking concoctions. She had the gift—unlike her mother when we were married. I thought wistfully of what it used to be like for me.

A home, a wife and a baby girl—the neat little package, but I knew there was always an element missing, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. "Dad?" Bella snapped me out of my reverie. "Uh, what?" I mumbled, glancing up from the T.V that I hadn't even been watching.

"Can you set the table for dinner? I've got meat all over my hands," she said, wiggling her fingers at my face.

I crinkled my nose, leaning back. She laughed a melodic laugh and trotted dutifully back to her station.

'Her station' were her words, not mine—she enjoyed the kitchen and cooking. Who would i be to decline her a creative outlet? I'd be a stupid father, and I'd go hungry or die from a coronary after eating too many steaks at the lodge.

Pizza was a big offender too, but I was trying to cut back—Bella had also been making more salads, which she didn't think I noticed.

I sighed, groaning a bit—I was getting old and my joints were sore from a long day of traffic patrol—as I lifted myself off the sofa. I shuffled into the kitchen where Bella stood at the stove, stirring something in a fry pan.

I sniffed.

"Mmm, that smells so good, Bells." I complimented as I got the plates out and some utensils. I retrieved three plates this time, rather than our usual two. Edward Cullen was coming over for dinner—an unlikely patron or visitor to the Swan household.

Yet, I did owe him for saving my baby in that fire. He was a stand up gentleman. And her teacher—such a great guy. He deserved all the hospitality I could give him. I set the plates on the table before sauntering into the living room to grab another chair before depositing it at the table so we had enough seats for three. I passed Bella, going to the fridge.

"Don't ruin your appetite," she mumbled, cutting up some salad. I rolled my eyes before grabbing a vitamin R—beautiful beer, it was. I cracked open the can and went back to the sofa—my harbour. I sighed in content as I settled back into the cushions—I swear they could have the indentation of my ass now. I went back to reminiscing over the past, it's all I ever did now. Nothing much ever happened to me and it was all I could do was to think back over my life. Plus, the game was on an ad break. I sighed in content, sipping my beer and thinking back to my fishing trip last weekend. I was out with Billy, my friend—best friend, really.

"_Hey, Charlie!" he called from the porch of his little shed/house. I smirked and waved, waiting for him to get his ass down the wheelchair ramp. When we first became buddies, I would offer to help him out whenever he looked like he was having trouble—but he hated that crap. So, I had learned to watch instead of help. _

_He was struggling, trying to slow down before he went fucking flying towards my patrol car. I hopped out and went to lean against the passenger side door of his Chevy. "Well done, Bill, I'm only a hundred years old now," I grinned mockingly at him as he grunted past. I chuckled and opened the door for him. _

_"I could have done that by myself, thank you very much." I rolled my eyes. "You're going to have to get in somehow, no let me help or we won't be leavin' here till dinner time." I quipped, placing my arm around his back so I could lift him inside the cab of the truck. He smelled of peppermint and cologne—why he wore cologne to go fishing was beyond me, but it didn't escape me that it smelled delicious. "Hmm...what are you wearing?" I asked, sniffing the air. He looked at me as if I had two heads. _

_I cleared my throat and averted my eyes as I pushed. It was an awkward stance and I had to place my hand on his ass for the final shove. He flinched and I couldn't help the odd sensation it left in my pants. I frowned to myself—how odd. I just shook myself out and folded up his chair, placing it in the truck bed. _

_I ran back around to the driver's side and hopped in. I drove around to the docks where our boat was—it was _our_ boat, seeing as how we shared it and both paid equally for it. _

_I parked the car, placing the handbrake on before I looked across the cab at Billy. I frowned, he seemed to be pondering something. I just shrugged it off and got out, unfolding his chair before wheeling it to his door. He put his arm around my shoulders and I put my arm behind his back and under his legs. I seated him, my face brushing against his shiny black hair. _

_My dick twitched and I fought it back—thinking about cold showers. What a weird day._

As I looked back on it now, I couldn't help but feel a little ill. I mean, it was such an odd thing to feel when you were round your best friend. "Dad, can you get the door?" Bella called out again. I groaned. I just sat down! But then again, she was cooking and I didn't have to do squat, so I should at least greet or guest. I shuffled into the hallway and to the front door. I turned the knob and it swung open to reveal...Mr. Cullen. I groaned inwardly.

He had beautiful tousled coppery hair falling in limp, wet strands into his jade green eyes.

He smiled nervously and stepped forward a little to shake my hand. I grasped his pale white fingers with my own and shook it once—he had a firm grip. So why did that make me want to hyperventilate? Oh my god, he was gorgeous.

Wait, what? I would have to have a discussion with Bella later tonight about not spiking my drinks or food to with acid or whatever it was that was making me think like this. I stepped aside to let him in. "—lovely home and I can't wait to see what Bella has cooked up for us." He smiled.

I shook my head, staring open-mouthed. "Um, yes?" I said it like a question. I hadn't been fucking listening! I watched him, bewildered, as he slowly sauntered toward the kitchen. He tapped Bella on the shoulder and she turned with a huge grin to nonchalantly shake his hand.

I frowned—weird. I sighed and decided I better get back to my couch—where there was manly things, like football, and beer. But as I kept my eyes glued to the screen, I felt my eyes straying from the player's hands to their crotches. I wonder...? I mentally slapped myself and glanced around to make sure nobody had noticed my indiscretion. I took a deep breath, clenching my fist before changing the channel onto something more appropriate. But it was all I could think about—Edward Cullen.

It was so mesmerising. From the way he held himself, to his posture, his lean muscled chest and arms.

The rain had almost soaked through his clothes, making the material stick to his body like a second skin.

I stifled a moan. "Dinner's ready!" Bella shouted from the dining table. I stood up, readjusting my pants—they had become unnaturally tight in the last hour. As I sat down at the table, sheepishly, Edward pulled out a chair next to me—well, next to me and Bella. He was sitting at the end of the table, while Bells and I sat on the opposite sides to each other.

I gulped loudly before sculling the rest of my beer and began digging into the enchiladas. Mmm, Mexican food.

I chanced a peek through my lashes up at Edward. He had a bit of sauce on his lip and I had the sudden intense urge to grab his head and glide my tongue over his saucy lip, cleaning it up and savouring the taste. I gritted my teeth and focussed on the food—Bella and Edward spoke about school.

_Think about tacos, think about tacos, think about TACOS!_ Literally. I needed to think about the female species. That would help. I let my mind wander over to La Push, where Sue Clearwater resides. I wondered what she was doing...? I could just imagine having her right now...

_I broke the door down with my foot, coming down the carpeted hallway and turning into her bedroom where I knew she would be. I smirked as I saw her laid out naked on the bed, her bronze tousled locks—I mean, long, crow-black hair was spread across the pillow. I stripped off my uniform but she told me to leave my belt on. _

_I obliged and jumped onto the bed. I leaned down, pressing my lips to hers. She giggled—then chuckled deeply. I frowned, pulling back to see the face of Edward Cullen. I bit my lip—feeling shy. He was naked underneath my body and I just about came right then and there. "The handcuffs," he whispered, running his fingers down my chest. _

_I laughed nervously before taking them off my holster and curling them around his wrist. He sat up and turned around so he was kneeling before me. _

_I ran the other cuff through the metal bars of the bed frame and cuffed his other wrist so that he was trapped. I ran my fingers down his spine, taking in his beautiful form. _

_He shuddered under my touch and I ran kisses down his skin to his buttocks—_

I sat up ramrod straight, shaking my head violently before shovelling more food down my throat. I couldn't be thinking those things. God, I couldn't even fucking fantasise about women anymore without them transforming into him! I grabbed my clean plate and stood up, frustrated. Stupid fucking fantasies.

I leaned against the sink and watched them eat. I smiled warmly at Bella as she dropped her food onto the table—always inept, that one. My eyes drifted to the Adonis. He was chuckling at Bella—the same chuckled from my fantasy. I loosened my collar, growing abnormally hot. I stared again, at the side of his face.

The movements of his sculpted jaw as he chewed were making me hard. I sucked in a slow and deep breath—this was insane.

His hair fell into his eyes and I felt like using my fingers to push it back, or maybe even my teeth. I shifted my gaze to another part of the room. The cat clock on the wall, with it's googly eyes and swinging tail. That was sure to make my hard-on go down. I stared at it...the tail swishing from side to side.

I imagined the way our bodies would move...swinging apart and then closer. I was just about panting with exertion.

I looked around frantically and decided that I had better go upstairs and take care of this...problem. "Bella, I'll just excuse myself for a moment," I mumbled to her. She nodded and went back to talking. "Edward," I nodded at him. He nodded and smiled—a breath taking smile that made my breathing hitch. I hastily made my way to my bedroom, sitting on the edge and undoing my pants. God, I never usually had to excuse myself during dinner. But if I didn't, I was going to fucking explode.

I closed my eyes and imagined back to where I left off...

_He shuddered beneath me and I smiled against his skin. I was hard and ready for him. I breathed in deeply, reaching around to his throbbing shaft. I grinned—he was aroused, excited for me, too. I stroked him up and down as he jerked and writhed. I placed my cock between his cheeks and plunged in. _

_We both groaned and grunted. I worked on him as hard and as I could before I came. We were both breathing hard and cursing. _

_I couldn't help but find it so fucking erotic. I felt him growing close, his body going rigid before he exploded into my hand. That was what caused me to cum—I shuddered and gritted my teeth as I rode it out._

Panting, I reached over to the nightstand to wipe myself up. I buttoned and zipped my jeans up.

I took a deep, shaky breath, steadying my weak legs before I made my back down stairs. I walked into the kitchen. Bella was blushing and Edward looked giddy. I wondered what they had been doing—probably talking about Shakespeare. Besides, Bella blushed at the drop of a hat.

I averted his gaze as I made my way to the fridge, grabbing another beer. "Well, I think it's time I head off now." He announced. My face fell into a sad grimace. "Are you sure?" I asked. He nodded warmly at me, before glancing side-long at Bella and stepping forward to shake my hand again.

I held my breath and waited for my senses to be overwhelmed. Ahh! And he smelled even better than before. I gritted my teeth behind my smile and nodded.

"Well, I just wanted to uh...thank...you. For...saving my Bella," I said, avoiding his eyes like a shy little girl. He smiled and nodded in understanding. Was there anything that was wrong with him? I doubted that. He was brilliant, spectacular! I watched as he walked out the front door, his ass swinging hypnotically under that sheath of denim.

I sighed, leaning against the door frame as I watched him go. I felt my heart tug and my dick twitch in unison.

What an odd, fucking night....maybe I should call Billy for another fishing trip tomorrow.

**How'd you like that? Aye? I have another idea for a one-shot and that is between Rosalie and Jacob. Not sure if they are werewolf and vampire or just humans. But they hate eahcother and as long as Jake isn't with Bella, I have no problem with him.**

**What did ya think?**

**Review!**


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